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A Division Of
Ego baptizo te in nomine patris, sed in nomine diaboli
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PAID ADVERTISEMENT
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PAID ADVERTISEMENT
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PAID ADVERTISEMENT
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PAID ADVERTISEMENT
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"Even he who is pure of heart, and says his prayers by night...
can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms,
and the moon is full and bright."
In years past, if it was not hereditary, there were no shortage of crazy ideas on how to transform yourself into a wolf. It was said that you either had to be bitten by a wolf, drink water from a wolf's footprint, (or wherever a wolf pack drinks), eat a wolf's brains, or worse yet, have a French priest put a hex on you. Well, my friends, the days of Lon Chaney Jr. and Gypsy fortune-tellers are over!
With B. L. Zeebub Industries Copyrighted and Licensed Be-O'-Wolf™ Transmogrification Kit you may acquire this handy talent with nothing more than your investment capital, the performance of some simple rites of Black Magic, and several ordinary household ingredients, (henbane, opium, hemlock, aconite, cowbane, sweet flag, cinquefoil, bat's blood, poplar leaves, soot and A-1 Steak Sauce), items you probably have in your own kitchen right now!
The Be-O'-Wolf™ Transmogrification Kit is the real deal... and real simple! Our proven method is 100% guaranteed to turn even the most awkward occult supplicant into the most fiendish and ravenous superphysical wolf!
How can we make this claim and offer our unheard of 100% money back guarantee? It's not the incantations... those are of the public domain. It's not the ingredients... you provide most of them yourself. Our secret to success is the various astral phantoms in our employ who will observe and then personally attend your transformation ceremony, thus ensuring your metaphysical success!
Prior to our patented process there was little or no consistency in the various astral phantoms to be called upon, or their Black Powers ... the very powers that are central to a favorable transformational procedure. If you could even manage to summon a Demon at all their presence would sometimes be indicated only by a sensation of abnormal cold and intense terror. Sometimes they would arrive in the form of a hairy monstrosity, partly human and partly beast. And sometimes the spirits would seem quite ill defined and only partly coalesced, or as we here at the office like to call it... a wash out!
Enter B. L. Zeebub Industries Hairy Happy Huntsmen®, a group of payrolled astrophysical fiends with over 30,000 years of combined anthropomorphic transformation experience. (In fact, the Happy Huntsmen is the guise which is these particular wraith's best selling configuration).
We here at B. L. Zeebub Industries promise that your rite will be personally overseen from the astral plain by a fiend so foul, so grotesque and so powerful that we are able to offer you this iron-clad guarantee: your Be-O'-Wolf™ lycanthropic curse will be shockingly immediate, irreversibly permanent and murderously catastrophic ... or your money back! This purchase is by no means cheap, but as they say, you get what you pay for. And believe us, you will pay for this!
Your kit arrives at your door complete with incantation, the freshest ingredients including hemlock, aconite, cowbane, sweet flag, and cinquefoil, (actual contents may vary), and a detailed instruction sheet.
"Demons, vampires, phantoms, ghosts! Chosen of all the devilish hosts!
I pray you send hither, send hither, send hither,
the great Black Shape that makes men shiver!"
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Availability:
This item usually ships within 1-3 business days from The Consumer Necropolis:
Cursed
Item: |
Be-O'-Wolf™ Transmogrification Kit
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List
Price: |
$4,500.00 |
Our
Price: |
 $2,500.00 & this item ships for FREE with Super Sordid Shipping. See details |
You
Save: |
$2,000.00 (45%)
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Our Price: |
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Send one easy payment of just $2,500.00
or four easy credit card payments
of just $1,250.95 per kit
payable to and in C/O:
B. L. Zeebub Industries
6666 Diablerie Terrace
Washington, DC 06660
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B. L. Zeebub Industries will not be held liable for any side effects which may result from this process, including but not limited to long, straight, slanting eyebrows, which meet at an angle over the nose; the third finger of the hand becoming longer than the others; or red almond shaped and / or curved finger-nails; ears which become set low and far back on the head; or a noticeably long, pendulant gait, which is strongly suggestive of an animal of some sort.
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