Hotel room...
Hotel room...

Whoever we are, wherever we're from
We shoulda noticed by now, our behavior is dumb.
And if our chances expect to improve
It's gonna take a lot more than trying to remove
The other race, or the other whatever
From the face of the planet altogether.

They call it THE EARTH
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
'Cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over, yes we are
Dumb all over, near and far
Dumb all over, black and white
People, we is not wrapped tight.

Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religious fanatics on the air every night
Sayin' the Bible tells the story
and makes the details sound real gory
'Bout what to do if the geeks over there
Don't believe in the book we got over here.

You can't run a race without no feet
'N pretty soon there won't be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics can make it be all gone
(I mean it won't blow up 'N disappear
It'll just look ugly for a thousand years...)

You can't run a country by a book of religion
Not by a heap or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules of ancient date
Designed to make you all feel great
While you fold, spindle and mutilate
Those unbelievers from a neighboring state.

TO ARMS! TO ARMS!
Hooray! That's great
Two legs ain't bad
Unless there's a crate
They ship the parts to mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (Get Down!)
Not his, not hers (but what the hey?)
The Good Book says:
"It's gotta be that way!"
But their book says:
"REVENGE THE CRUSADES...
With whips 'n chains
'N hand grenades..."
TWO ARMS? TWO ARMS?
Have another and another
Our God says:
"There ain't no other!"
Our God says
"It's all okay!"
Our God says
"This is the way!"

It says in the book:
"Burn 'n destroy...
'N repent, 'n redeem
'N revenge, 'n deploy
'N rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum
on the other side,
'Cause they don't go for what's in the book
'N that makes 'em BAD
So verily we must choppeth them up,
And stompeth them down,
Or rent a nice French bomb
To poof them out of existence
While leaving their real estate
just where we need it.
To use again
For temples in which to praise
OUR GOD
("Cause he can really take care of business!")

And when his humble TV servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It's okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
'Cause if we don't do it
We ain't gwine up to hebbin!
(Depending on which book
you're using at the time...
Can't use theirs... it don't work...
it's all lies... Gotta use mine...)
Ain't that right?
That's what they say
Every night...
Every day...
Hey, we can't really be dumb
If we're just following God's Orders
Let's get serious...
God knows what he's doin'...
He wrote this book here
An' the book says:
"He made us all to be just like Him," so...
If we're dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(An' maybe even a little ugly on the side)

-BACK-